Hey y’all! (I still have some of that fun slang from our past years of living in the South š) We just finished a great short devo from Joyce Meyer https://joycemeyer.org/dailydevo/2021/06/30-its-never-too-late-to-begin-again and it reminded me of the importance of understanding Godās grace, particularly when it comes to being a reflection of that grace to others, and especially in marriage.
I am so thankful for Godās grace over my life, over my marriage and over my family, arenāt you? I donāt know where I would be without Godās grace. As recipients of such amazing grace, it is also so very important to show and offer grace to others. Sometimes this is more difficult than other times, especially when we may be hurt or offended by our spouse or someone we love deeply. But, unless we humble ourselves and choose to offer grace, we will tend to act and think out of our defenses, thereby allowing the enemy and our self-protecting flesh to override grace. Please understand that I am not suggesting merely overlooking oneās hurtful actions, especially in the case of marital unfaithfulness or various forms of abuse.
Everyone deserves respect as a human beingā¦and as a potential child of God. The meanest, darkest of individuals is still a prospective child of God. Yet, how often do we speak or even think slanderous, cutting-down thoughts of others, rather than seeing them through Gods eyes? Husbands, wives, God says you become oneā¦you are a unit. Therefore, it is imperative that you be graceful with your spouse. In fact, you may even be negating Godās blessing upon your marriage relationship if you are speaking curses rather than blessings over your spouse. (See James 3:10-12)
Early in our marriage Tracy and I were not living for the Lord. We did however commit our lives to the Lord just a couple years into our marriage. Since then, our relationship has grown exponentially and today, our love continues to grow, and we remain best friends. Next to Jesus, Tracy is truly my heart throb and is the most precious gift God could ever give to me. Our relationship is really based upon two thingsālove and respect. Love in a successful marriage seems obvious right, but one cannot truly love unless one understands the true source of love, for God is love (see 1 John 4:7 & 16). For guys especially, it is a bit harder to understand how to actually show love, this is why God tells us specifically to love our wives (see Ephesians 5:22-33). Guys, we have got to work at figuring this out, as it probably does not come naturally to us. The question should not be DO you love your wife, but DOES she FEEL loved?
Wives, God calls you to respect your husband (see Ephesians 5:33). Perhaps this does not come naturally to you or maybe your husband hasnāt been respectable. Understandably, this makes it difficult. Donāt be afraid to give praise to himā¦surely, he has some good qualities. Youāre showing him respect will actually inspire him forward in remarkable ways. The Bible does not make love and respect conditional in the marriage, nor is it a tit-for-tat agreement, it just says to do it. Guys, I encourage you todayā¦figure out your wifeās love language and put effort into loving her so that she truly feels loved and valuable to youā¦more than anyone. Wives, appreciate and respond to the honorable and respectable qualities in your husband, and make him genuinely feel like you appreciate that. As a couple, disarm the negatives and put these two positives into action and then watch them grow. Finally, protect these things and recognize their irreplaceable value. I can promise you, being intentional with love and respect will have amazing rewards. God knows what He is doing, and He also knows exactly how we are wired as individuals.
Healthy marriages and secure families are Godās design. Mom, dad, your children should never have to worry about your family being torn apart. A family centered on God is a powerful force and a divine blueprint. Following Gods blueprint results in favor and blessing. Subsequently, we must realize that we are also in a constant battle with the enemy (satan), who does not want us to live under the umbrella of Gods favor and blessing. The Bible says that he (satan) is the accuser of the brethren (see Rev 12:10). This especially holds true in marriage. Satan wants you to pick apart your spouse and keep record of their wrongs, be and speak critically to one another. And we tend to justify our self-protecting, self-righteous selves by using worldly views and perspectives, not Gods. Most every sit-com and many social media accounts today display that it is normal to knock-down or belittle your spouse. Let me say very clearly, this is not Gods plan. And yet most of those who have bought in to this pattern have always dreamed of having a marriage made in heaven. Treating others (especially your spouse) with Godās grace will unleash His blessing upon that relationship. God has spiritual laws (cause & effect) that He has put into motion. He honors what we obey.
One other big key to our happy marriage is praying together and couplesā devotionsā¦daily. I cannot tell you how important this is in order to have a truly blessed marriage. There is absolutely no other time or action that I value in the same way as praying with Tracy. If you are a Christian, do you truly believe in the power that is unleashed in and through prayer? The Bible says that wherever two or three are gather together (praying) in my name, I am thereā¦I am in it. (see Matt. 18:20 my paraphrase). As a Christian couple, why would we ever take for granted such a powerful gift, and yet expect to have intimacy together with God? Have you heard, āA family that prays together, stays togetherā? ā¦itās so true. Donāt let the enemy deceive and rob you and your family.
My typical day starts out with the automatic coffee grinder as an alarm, I have my quite time with the Lord while Tracy has hers. Then we get together for another cup of java and share a bit about whatās on our agenda for the day. Then we read a devotion together, and we pray. Normally, I invite my beautiful wife onto my lap, as I love to have her in my arms as we pray. Together we pray for the events of the day, and we pray over our kids, grandkids, family, and friends. We pray over our city, the world, and the church (Godās people). We see this as an incredible opportunity to connect God with the situations we see in our daily lives. And finally, we speak blessings over each other. I value very highly the blessing of my wife (Godās gift to me), and I know Tracy feels the same when I speak a blessing over her. Friends, I cannot put into words the value that this daily time together has been to our marriageā¦my life! Also, the value placed upon our future and our family and others that we pray for.
You may be thinking āThatās really nice and good that your daily coupleās devo and prayer time works for you, but you donāt know my schedule or my peculiar situation.ā Listen, Iām telling you from personal experienceā¦Tracy and I have been married for over 40 years now and we are more in love than ever. This is a major key to our successful marriage. Truth be told, you will make allowances and changes in your life for the things that are important to you. People across the globe are getting up at the crack of dawn to go to the gym where they are even paying for memberships. Maybe you claim that you are not a morning person. Can devo/prayer time be done at a different time of day? Sure, but often it just wonāt. Plans change, the kids need attention, company knocks at your door, or your just too tired etc… Again, people set their alarms and get-up in the morning to go to work, go hunting/fishing, to beat the traffic etc. Besides, doesnāt it just make sense to start your day out on the right track? King David said Early in the morning I will rise up and seek you.ā (See Psalm 63:1) Some may already be early risers to have their own devotions, or meet with others at the office, but not taking the opportunity to join together with their spouse.
Listen, I realize that everyoneās schedule is a bit different. But there is something very supernatural that occurs when we put the Lord of our lives in front of everything else each and every day. Itās really a matter of priority. When it comes down to it, we will justify whatever is important to us and makes us feel comfortable. I hate to be so blunt, but comfortable is just the way the enemy wants you to feel. Self-reliant, in charge, and without the need of a loving savior who wants you to invite Him into your day. Everyone wants peace, right? Comfort and peace are not the same thing. True peace can only come from the Lord. We need to be intentional with all of our relationships by putting time and effort into them. Stay out of the comfort zone and be intentional, the rewards are priceless.
I recently heard of a couple who was having some serious problems in their marriage. They were actually just a little past being newlyweds by a couple years. After some loving Christian counseling, they realized they needed to make some changes. One of those changes was to be intentional about having daily devoās together. They made the change, and recently while temporarily separated due extended business trip, they still made the effort to have devoās over the phone. They are now feeling like newlyweds again.
One last thing as I closeā¦Your couples devo and prayer time doesnāt have to be long. Start with a few minutes. Get a good couples daily devotional to read together. Then grab each otherās hands and pray. Personally, if I am looking at a rough day or going through a tuff time, all I need to hear from my encouraging wife is āLord, bless my man today.ā Heyā¦Iām good to go!
Blessed by the Best,
Mark
Please let us know if you ever need prayer. Also, message us for suggestions on coupleās devotional resources.
See You in the River 
You guys rock. Thanks for sharing!!
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